For years, I wanted to do everything...be everything, my children needed or would ever need in the future. I wanted to be that best friend my children would probably struggle to find, that supermom that all the kids would envy my children for, and the list goes on. Some of the things I wanted to become as a mom, I even managed to do at some point.

 

But!

 

Somehow, someway it would all backfire on me to some degree! 

 

I had gotten to a point that I was over-worked! At least, my mind was over-working constantly. I had to think ahead just in case something were to go wrong. Oh my goodness, when my children were sick with colds, I treated them as if they had pneumonia. They were medicated every 4 hours on the dot, bundled with care during the cold weather, and restricted and mad!

 

Trying to be that perfect, amazing mom, was not at all what I thought it was going to be like. I put so much pressure on myself. I wasn't enjoying my children and I'm sure, due to my over-protectiveness, they weren't the least enjoying me.

 

So, I decided to change after years of structured behavior, I let go of it all! Well, as much of it as I could. I stopped putting pressure on my children with small matters that I used to wreck my brain over. I let go of keeping up with the housework every minute of every second of the day. I'd let a lot of it go!

 

Well, this was all great for a while because my family began to enjoy this new me a little more, but after a while, I began to slack off too much. Once again, I still wanted to be that great mom, but with an edge. A good one, though. 

 

But, things just wasn't getting done like I wanted. Now that began to bother me, but sometimes, I just didn't feel like doing anything about it. If I did that day, I did, if I didn't, I just didn't. I couldn't afford a nanny or housekeeper, so this was all I had to work with.

 

I began to wonder if my children cared about the dishes not being washed immediately after we used them, the clothes not being folded after they were laundered, I mean, some days I would sit a big pile of clothes smack dab in the middle of my bedroom floor. They were clean and that was enough for me! But, was it for them? The fact they had to dive into a heap of mess, just to find clean underwear for the day!

 

I asked one of my boys, one day, what was his definition of a good mom and what does she look like. At first, all he said to me was one word, "YOU". 

 

I couldn't believe he would say that to me after all of the slacking I was beginning to do. I asked him why he said this as I laughed out loudly. He explained that "All of that stuff (cooking and cleaning) is good, but it doesn't mean that you have a good mom".

 

But, what makes a good mom, or, shall I say(in his words)..."what makes you a good mom is that you are there for us. You care. You are fussy, but you love us and I can tell! You don't have to cook for us every night, as long as you feed us, and you do that every day. You make sure that we have the best and are the best we could be. I like the fact that you SEE us. I like that gift and that makes you amazing!"

 

OH-MY-GOODNESS! I could've fallen through the floor that day! 

 

All this time, I was thinking so wrong. My ideology of what an amazing mom looked like was so distorted! And it took an 11-year-old child to help me see that on that day. 

 

 

The whole idea of doing this and that to become an amazing mom, I didn't need to do any of it, but-be-my-self! I learned to stop comparing myself to whatever mom I thought was cool, whatever the media said that makes an amazing mom. I just simply began to find out who I was in midst of trying to figure out how to raise my children, and I began to blossom naturally, while not trying to be the best, amazing mom in the world!

 

If you are anything like I explained myself to be not too long ago, just know this...you are amazing because you have taken the time to read this. That means that you are fighting for change! I want to tell you as my OTHER son had to tell me. 

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"There is no perfect mom! God never created moms this way, nor did he create any of us to be that way! 

But!

You can be amazing."

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What makes an amazing mom, or I'll say an amazing woman, is that one who strives to do her best and wants the best for those around her. She focuses on what's important and understands everything else can wait. She does not strive to be perfect because perfect does not mean perfection!

 

Now that...is worth aiming for!